I remember talking to my pastor some months ago and I remember her telling me that the reason that many people have issues with letting go of bad relationships is b/c our souls end up being tied to one another. Today I started thinking about why, despite everything I do, have such a hard time letting go. So I decided to do a little research and found this wonderful article that explains everything that I've been feeling.
Often our current relationships or marriage suffer, because we are still caught up in our past both emotionally and spiritually. By spiritually I mean unhealthy sexual soul ties. Sexual soul ties often have us caught in a cycle of dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.
So what is a soul tie? A soul tie is two souls tied together by the spirit. - Quinton McCall
I can remember when I met my husband back in 2005. I remember feeling like I've finally met my "soul mate" the one who understood me and knew me inside and out. Our relationship moved at a rapid pace. We were so in love. Well at least I was anyway. I hind sight I realize I was trying to feel a void. Prior to meeting him, I'd just gotten out of a 3 year relationship with a man I thought I was going to marry. And instead of waiting and healing from that, within a months time I jumped right back into another one. And because I wanted to be loved and accepted so badly, I ignored the little things he was doing that I knew just wasn't right. I made him my world which was so wrong.
I remember the day we got married. I was at the court house. Not exactly what I envisioned as a little girl, but hey I was in love and I figured I'd have the wedding I want one day. That "this isn't right" feeling crept back up right before we exchanged vows. I asked myself"am I really ready for this" At that point I should've ran for the door, but I didn't and I proceeded on with the marriage. It didn't take long for those old problems to resurface. I learned the hard way that marriage won't change anyone. While it was just a title to him, it meant so much more to me. I kept thinking there's no way this man would marry me unless he really loved me. What I didn't realize is he didn't love himself enough. And
For him, love is a game, at least that's the way I see it now. I don't even know if he knew what love is. I think maybe he was in love with the idea of love if that makes sense. He was fine playing house as long as he didn't have to take on the responsibility it came with. For me I was yearning for acceptance. I never quite figured out how to love myself. I didn't put any standards in place. And I kinda dealt with whatever I could get and just hoped for the best. I look back at all the relationships I've had and I really can't account for one that was actually good.
In the eyes of God “the act of sex is marriage through consummation.” Every single time an unmarried person has sex they become married to that person. For example if someone has had twenty-five sex partners, they have probably been exposed to hundreds of other souls. If the other person had more than one partner, then you are also exposed to all their partners as well. In simple terms, you have sex with everyone they have had sex with. So as one can easily see this makes having a truly loving, intimate, and close union very difficult.-Quinton McCall
After reading this article I can now understand why its hard to have a healthy successful relationship. Just think how much better the world would be if we would wait till marriage before we had sex. Had I waited before I got some emotionally involved with him, or any other man for that matter I'm sure my life's outcome would be totally different right now. Recounting the events of my past marriage I can see how soul ties have played a big part in what I've been experiencing. I'm ready to break the chains, and break the cycle. I've vowed to not get involved with anyone until my divorce is finally and more importantly, until I'm emotionally ready. I'm not missing anything by not being in a relationship, especially if its going be worse than the one before.