No one wants to be a single mother. No one. Yet it seems to be the norm in the world we live in today. Most of us probably felt like we knew the guy we were sleeping with. That he would never “do that to me”. We couldn't fathom a guy that we chose to birth a child with could just walk away like that. Yet it happens. Now not only are we faced with the financial burden of raising the child alone, we are also labeled by society. All of a sudden people are looking at you like it’s your fault that you find yourself in the position you’re in. Now all of a sudden our very character and integrity is being attacked, we are labeled as whores, welfare junkies, angry and bitter. People tend to generalize and put us single moms in this one little box and we are a fit some certain criteria. When the fact is such generalizations are just quite frankly stupid. Our circumstances and life situations differ. Not one story is exactly identical to the next.
Quick personal observation….and rant….:
I've noticed that people feel like because you are raising a child on your own that is an open invitation to ask you all sorts of questions. Listen don’t ask me where my “babydaddy” is because quite frankly that is none of your business. If I don’t share the information with you, that pretty much means I don’t want to talk about it. And please don’t say to me “I don’t know how you do it because I just couldn't imagine being a single mom…..” that is not a compliment, not in the least bit. First of if you aren't in the position I’m in I don’t expect you to understand, so stop trying. Secondly, don’t be so quick to say what you can’t imagine yourself doing. I’m pretty sure you have had many “ I would never” moments that turned into “well maybe just this once” experience and in an instant that one decision turned your life upside down.
But I digress.
I will say this for those who wonder how we can do what we do and not self destruct…..HELLO BECAUSE WE HAVE TO! Seriously who is gonna do it for us? For us who do this daily, the decision is a very easy one. Make a way or someone will do it for you. Which almost always means having your child snatched up and placed in some foster home where the people are in it just for the money. That may be an extreme example but we single moms tend to think about the worse of circumstances and try very hard to avoid them. Its hard for TWO parents these days to provide the daily necessities that their children need, can you imagine it is for one mother of one or multiple children? We sacrifice, go without, cry in our beds at night, and work crazy hours all for those little eyes that look at us with love, those little hearts that beat a beautiful sound of life, those little hands that grip our fingers ever so tightly, and those faces that can make everything so perfect in that moment. So before you judge us and our situation, how about you take a long look at what we do, what we sacrifice and what we fight for all in the sake of our children. I can bet whatever happened in that past that placed us in this situation will seem so minor to the things we are doing now….
….for the sake of our children.