So for the fifth time tonight his phone rings in the middle of the night. And as you lay there looking at the phone light up and vibrate you can't help but wonder who's on the other end of that phone. So you try to ignore it, then...the voice mails start coming...followed by the text messages. You keep telling yourself, you're not gonna do this again. You aren't gonna check his phone, read his text, or listen to those voice mails. Nope. You're better than that. Right....
1 Hour later....
You're in the bathroom...(yup we all done it) and we all know how this story plays out. You find out that your husband was suppose to go to her house after work. That he was suppose to take her out, she's wondering why he hasn't called, or my favorite..."I just wanted to tell you goodnight". And if you're lucky these texts and phone calls are usually followed by a set of breasts or ass filling up your husbands phone screen. And whether this is your first time or your 100th time going through this, the hurt is still the same.
Before you know it, you call this person. (from your husband's phone of course) and confront her. Now this scenario can play out a couple of ways...
1. She had no idea your husband was married and she gives up all the information. Being that she was in a similar situation before she'd never do anything like this knowingly.
2. She hears your voice and declines to answer any questions and hangs up.
3. She curses you out. Basically telling you to check your man and leave her the hell alone.
So with that being said, you have to ask yourself, is it even worth going through all that. I mean you already seen what you needed to see. Why even call her? Nine times out of ten she's not gonna give a damn anyhow. More importantly she probably already knew what the deal was and just didn't care. Its sad to say but there's a lot of women out here that would rather have what someone else has than get that thing on there on. In this case that thing would be your husband. If anything, the other woman should be trying to find out who YOU are. Not the other way around. And again I stress if you don't have any intention of leaving, why put yourself through the stress of it all. Don't even bother confronting him. He's gonna lie point blank period. He could have the girl spread eagle on your kitchen floor and still find a way to get out of it.
So my verdict on confronting the other woman....NO! I mean even though I've done it quite a few times in the past, I wish I could take it back. Because I can bet money that she didn't give and damn and probably had a good laugh with her friends about it. At the end of the day the commitment was made with him, not her. She really doesn't need to be concerned about how you feel. Even if she knew he was married. Its still not her problem. He's married to you. Not to say what she is don't is right, because it isn't. The best thing you can do for women like that is to pray for her and forgive her. Yup forgive her. Because as much as you say you don't care, you do. And in some ways its so much easier to blame the other woman for the problems you and your husband already had before she came along. Don't let her make you feel like any less of a woman because of what your man did.
When you confront the other woman you open yourself up to all kinds of emotions. Its kinda like a mini obsession. You want to know what she looks like, where she works, who her friends are, how she dress, etc. Subconsciously you start comparing yourself to her. And that can make even the strongest woman insecure. You can't help but wonder what made him choose her? When the facts is he would've chosen anyone who would give him the opportunity.
Bottom line if you choose to deal with it, take it up with your man.