Okay You Caught Him...Now What?

So yesterday I was looking at some old episodes of Cheaters and it got me to thinking. How many of us have gone to the extreme to find out what our significant other is doing when we aren't looking.

I mean we've all done it. Checked his phone when he was sleep. Lurked around his Facebook to see who he's talking to. May have cracked an email or too. (I know I'm not the only one). Call the mysterious phone number that keeps popping up on the phone bill just to see who answers. I've know some women to go to the extreme of putting GPS in their husbands/boyfriends car to find out where they are going at night. Yes we've all been there. But my question is once the truth is revealed what do you do from there?

I constantly caught my ex and other ex's of my past doing stuff that was questionable and downright offensive. The story always plays out the same. You confront him, he denies it, tries to make you feel wrong for snooping. You sit there mad for a minute, while he's pleading his case. Makes up some grand lie that you know is not true. Before you know it, you're apologizing to him as if you did something wrong. And of course make up sex comes soon after.

Then reality hits. As you lay there in the bed fresh off that sexual high, you wonder how the hell did I let this nigga play me? And the vicious cycle continues until one day you've had enough or he's done playing with you. Either way you leave the relationship a little more jaded and a little more damaged. And now of course you carry that baggage over to the next one and repeat the cycle over again.

Wouldn't it just be so much easier to walk away once the infedility has been revealed? And more importantly, if you have to snoop around to find out some stuff about your man then 9 times out of 10 you are going to find exactly what you are looking for. On top of that, once you take the cheater back, you pretty much signed over your relationship. Meaning you just said, okay you cheated, I caught you, the only thing you have to do is fuck the living shit out of me and all is well with the world again. I'm not pointing fingers, I've been guilty of the very thing I'm talking about.

But sometimes I wonder if me and females in general would just walk away once the infidelity was revealed how much better off we would be? I mean really just walk away. Cut him off without a word. Don't look for the explanation, don't wait for the call, and just act as if he never existed. I understand how hard that may be for many. But think about how much heartbreak you'd save yourself if you just cut that shit off  before you develop more feelings. 

A lot of bad relationships can be avoided if we just listen to what our intution is telling us. That little vocie that keeps nagging you isn't lying. And if you're not going to do that. Don't bother snooping around if you really have no intention of leaving. What kind of point are you trying to prove if you are just gonna continue to set yourself up for failure over and over. I mean its certanly not gonna stop him from cheating. He's just going to be a little more cautious next time.   I wish I would've learned this a long time ago. But I definitely get it now. I wasted so much time trying to change a man who was hell bent on having dog in him till the day he dies (or catches HIV). Nothing I can do, say, or prove is going to change that fact that he is who he is. Until that man resolves in his mind that he's done with the game then consider yourself a pawn until you surrender or get knocked off the board.