It’s taken me thirty years, a couple of heart breaks,
breakdowns, breakouts, crying screaming, yelling, bitterness, anger, resentment
towards men……..to realize that love doesn't hurt. For whatever reason many
people like myself have equated love to pain. If it doesn't hurt, it isn't true
authentic love. We confuse the downright wrong relationship deal breakers with
everyday normal trials that couples go through.
Love should never be disrespectful or deceitful. I don’t care how many
good qualities the other person has. Being cheated on, lied to constantly,
manipulated, used, abused, degraded, and demeaned. Is not love my friend. Being
the other woman/man isn't love, someone only being available you at three in
the morning isn’t love, having to fight over women for the love of a man isn't
love. None of it is love. Love is pretty simple. There isn't anything
complicated about it….But we will talk about it later. This very revelation was
confirmed to me today while watching a clip on YouTube of this show called
Scandal who every woman in America seems to be oh so crazy about. There is this
one scene where the main character, Olivia has been proposed to by this man
twice, twice she accepted the proposal, and twice she gave the ring back. So in
this scene he is basically asks her why she doesn't want the life he wants to
give her. I mean after all he’s a successful Senator, never been married, no baby
mama, strong, good looking, and very ambitious. You know the type of man women
pray for. And here we have Olivia who is in a relationship with a man who is
married who has constantly time and time again broken her heart. So I mean to
the naked eye the choice seems to be very clear. Available single man vs.
unavailable married man. No brainer. This is where the story gets real twisted…..She
turns him down. In this grandiose speech about love she says and I quote:
“I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing,
extraordinary love……
Girl…Girl….GET.A.LIFE…..
Okay so let’s break this down for a minute. So you want
painful love? Come here so I hit you with this “love tap” right across your
head. And when you ask me why I hit you I’ll just smile and say “because I love
you girl!” You want your love to be difficult….as if life isn't difficult a by
itself self. You want to see difficult….go down to your local hospital and look
into the eyes of a cancer patient who was just told she has three months to
live….go to a homeless shelter and observe a mother and her two children
clinging on for dear life because she finally decided her husband wasn't going
to hit her anymore….better yet go to the millions of homes in America who are a
paycheck away from being in foreclosure, knee deep in debt. You want your love to be devastating….*rolls
eyes*. So you want your love to look
like the events that took place in Oklahoma ….a natural disaster. You want your
love to mimic the events of 9/11…a state of emergency. Or maybe you want your
love to look like the event’s that took place in Sandy Hook….An American
Tragedy. What is this a soap opera?
You want something life changing….How about believing on the
name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life…..I’m
just sayin’. You want extraordinary love….I don’t know a love more
extraordinary that that guy who was accused , beaten, mocked, spitted on, made
to carry his own cross, bound, nailed, and left for dead….uh what was his name
again….oh yeah that would be Jesus. If your current love situation is painful,
difficult, and devastating….ask yourself why. Why would you think this is what
is suppose to be like. Why are you still putting up with it, is it because you
don’t want to be alone? Are you worried about what your friends or family or going
to say. Or perhaps you want your child to have both parents so you suffer so to
give him/her a “better life.” Can I tell you there is absolutely no excuse to
stay in a situation that is emotionally, mentally and physically damaging to
your health. NO REASON. If you want to experience something extraordinary and
life changing I heard that there was this really good book full of life, truth
and infinite wisdom. And I bet He’s been sitting around just waiting for you to
open it. You got to go find out for yourself. I can tell you how valuable you
are until I’m blue in the face. You won’t know the truth until you seek it. So turn of your IPod and stop listening to that
silly little sad love song that has been on repeat for the last three days and
pick up your Bible so you can know what love truly looks like.
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