It’s taken me thirty years, a couple of heart breaks, breakdowns, breakouts, crying screaming, yelling, bitterness, anger, resentment towards men……..to realize that love doesn't hurt. For whatever reason many people like myself have equated love to pain. If it doesn't hurt, it isn't true authentic love. We confuse the downright wrong relationship deal breakers with everyday normal trials that couples go through. Love should never be disrespectful or deceitful. I don’t care how many good qualities the other person has. Being cheated on, lied to constantly, manipulated, used, abused, degraded, and demeaned. Is not love my friend. Being the other woman/man isn't love, someone only being available you at three in the morning isn’t love, having to fight over women for the love of a man isn't love. None of it is love. Love is pretty simple. There isn't anything complicated about it….But we will talk about it later. This very revelation was confirmed to me today while watching a clip on YouTube of this show called Scandal who every woman in America seems to be oh so crazy about. There is this one scene where the main character, Olivia has been proposed to by this man twice, twice she accepted the proposal, and twice she gave the ring back. So in this scene he is basically asks her why she doesn't want the life he wants to give her. I mean after all he’s a successful Senator, never been married, no baby mama, strong, good looking, and very ambitious. You know the type of man women pray for. And here we have Olivia who is in a relationship with a man who is married who has constantly time and time again broken her heart. So I mean to the naked eye the choice seems to be very clear. Available single man vs. unavailable married man. No brainer. This is where the story gets real twisted…..She turns him down. In this grandiose speech about love she says and I quote:
“I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love……
Okay so let’s break this down for a minute. So you want painful love? Come here so I hit you with this “love tap” right across your head. And when you ask me why I hit you I’ll just smile and say “because I love you girl!” You want your love to be difficult….as if life isn't difficult a by itself self. You want to see difficult….go down to your local hospital and look into the eyes of a cancer patient who was just told she has three months to live….go to a homeless shelter and observe a mother and her two children clinging on for dear life because she finally decided her husband wasn't going to hit her anymore….better yet go to the millions of homes in America who are a paycheck away from being in foreclosure, knee deep in debt. You want your love to be devastating….*rolls eyes*. So you want your love to look like the events that took place in Oklahoma ….a natural disaster. You want your love to mimic the events of 9/11…a state of emergency. Or maybe you want your love to look like the event’s that took place in Sandy Hook….An American Tragedy. What is this a soap opera?
You want something life changing….How about believing on the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life…..I’m just sayin’. You want extraordinary love….I don’t know a love more extraordinary that that guy who was accused , beaten, mocked, spitted on, made to carry his own cross, bound, nailed, and left for dead….uh what was his name again….oh yeah that would be Jesus. If your current love situation is painful, difficult, and devastating….ask yourself why. Why would you think this is what is suppose to be like. Why are you still putting up with it, is it because you don’t want to be alone? Are you worried about what your friends or family or going to say. Or perhaps you want your child to have both parents so you suffer so to give him/her a “better life.” Can I tell you there is absolutely no excuse to stay in a situation that is emotionally, mentally and physically damaging to your health. NO REASON. If you want to experience something extraordinary and life changing I heard that there was this really good book full of life, truth and infinite wisdom. And I bet He’s been sitting around just waiting for you to open it. You got to go find out for yourself. I can tell you how valuable you are until I’m blue in the face. You won’t know the truth until you seek it. So turn of your IPod and stop listening to that silly little sad love song that has been on repeat for the last three days and pick up your Bible so you can know what love truly looks like.