DIY Offenders: Stop Trying to Fix Him!

In the midst of me reading the previous blog I posted I had a self revelation.  Here’s my confession, one of the main reasons why I remained in relationships that I obviously knew weren't good for me was the simple fact that I could mold and change my significant other into the person I really wanted him to be. I know someone out here in the internet world can relate. We women in general have a bad habit of thinking and believing that we can “fix" a man.  As if we can take a screwdriver, take the screws that hold his skull intact, move some wiring around in his brain and BOOM perfection! PFFT!  I mean seriously we think we can lull him into submission with our feminine wiles and so called bag of tricks. We cook him good meals, wash his dirty clothes, and listen to his daily problems, so called dreams and aspirations.  We know he isn't worth a pot to piss in, but we hold on to that ONE quality that makes him oh so desirable. Forget that he cheats, forget that he doesn't have any real goals, forget that he is content on living off your dime….nah forget all that because he’s keeps you warm at night…okay girl. So because of that ONE good thing we remain loyal and supportive in the hope that he one day will “get his act together”. 

  I mean sure, if you think about it he probably would get his ACT together for a little while. He will play the role of a lifetime that would even make Victor Newman jealous….Soap Opera role at its finest hour.  He will ACT interested, he will ACT like he hears your concerns, he will ACT like he cares, and yes he will ACT like a changed man. He will do all of this just to get you off his back and keep you around.   But just like any long out and drawn out story line, it eventually gets tired, dry and boring.  The problem with acting is eventually the cameras stop rolling, the bright lights fade and he eventually gets tired of playing that role. Next thing you know he’s on to the next script…that probably has a new female lead.  And what you left with?  A laundry bag of clean clothes that he is one his way to pick up, a hot meal wrapped up into a to go plate, a bag full of tricks tucked away under the bed, a very real broken heart….and no man. In other words you have a whole bunch of props but no supporting cast.

Sigh…..

 Listen, there is only one you and because there is one you that makes YOU a beautiful creation. God didn't put you here to be treated like an extra in some acting role, you are your OWN leading lady. Let me drop this Gem on you, in 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NIV) it says that “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” In other words you don't have to be fake. You don't have the greatest and latest clothes, expensive jewelry and fancy hairdo's You don' have to have the image of the "perfect" man either to validate who you are either.Not to sound all preachy and cliché but when you figure out who you are in Christ, there is no way a man or anyone for that matter can treat you like dirt. You are an asset to the world. You just didn't fall on the face of this Earth by circumstance. You have purpose. And messing with these people who aren't meant to do anything but delay your purpose need to be removed from your life ASAP. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Being alone doesn't equal being lonely. Go out, do something with your life. I’m sure you have friends and family that you can hang out with. Get out there a live a lot ( not a little J).  God knows the desires of your heart, he knows what you want. It’s not your job to go out there and find it….HELLO that’s why he’s GOD and we are HIS children. He already has that handled. Be patient that man will find his good thing in you when its right.