Say No to "Chilling"

There have been many conversations exchanged between me and my friends when it comes to finding a good quality mate. And I find the number one problem most women of our generation seem to have is finding a man that is willing to go through the process of getting to know the woman. So the question is what happened to actually dating someone? These days we have things completely backwards. What use to be a “dinner and a move with a possible god night kiss at the end of the date” has turned into a “let's chill at my crib which leads to sex followed by breakfast in the morning.” What made it okay for we a women to give up the most valuable part of ourselves so fast? More importantly, when did “chilling” become an acceptable first date anyhow? Listen I'm a simple woman who likes simple things. A guy doesn't have to take me to a 5 star restaurant. I know times are hard. All I'm saying is if a man is going to ask you out on a date, don't you think you are worth the effort? A walk in the park is free, having a picnic is free, going to a museum is free....there are so many things that don't require money that he can do with you. Say no to “chilling”....at least for the first couple of dates. That will give you the opportunity to get to know who you are dealing with.

But....

“If I don't give him what he wants he might leave”

Andddd....if you give him what he wants, he might leave anyway.

But....

“What I won't do another woman will”

Okay well by all means let her do it. How does what she will do for him effect you? If he is that impatient that he will go and get another women to fulfill his immediate needs, that should show you what he really wanted you for in the first place.

But....

“I want him to like me”

Sex doesn't mean he likes you, it means you a giving him the temporary satisfaction he is looking for right now.

But...

“I don't feel like I can do any better”

Well if you feel that why you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

Whatever the excuse is....they are just that excuses. We shouldn't have to compromise our standards in order to keep a man. Stop giving your power away to a man you just met. If he can't except the fact that you don't want to sleep with him so be it. You are still awesome. There are plenty of guys out here that are awaiting to meet someone as great as yourself. Sex doesn't not determine your value. Your were already valuable stepping in. Don't be afraid to tell him no, the worst thing that can happen is that he never calls again. If he likes you, let him prove it. Speak your mind, own your words and speak the truth. You are responsible for your life....own it. Lastly don't be afraid of getting it wrong. We aren't always going to be right about the guy we are dating. That doesn't mean you should give up. Someone will appreciate how wonderful you are and what you have to offer.