The day I condemned myself to hair slavery was the day I picked up my first pack of remy hair. On that day I was transformed into a new person. Admittedly I liked that person that started back at me. That person with long flowing locks down her back, curls blowing freely in the wind. The way the men looked at me anywhere I went. Weave made me feel powerful. It didn't take long for weave to become an obsession, I could even call it a habit. A very expensive habit. $300 for weave $150 for the install, for the price of looking good It was worth every penny. All the while I neglected my own hair underneath. In fact, aside from my stylist and a few close friends, no one saw my real hair for years. I was completely brainwashed into what I thought was beauty. If I didn't a weave installed, I was either hiding in my room, on my way to the salon, or on my way to the beauty supply store. If I didn't have enough money for a weave, I wore a wig. Anything not to show what I that was ugly underneath
It wasn't until I lost my job that I was forced to take a long good hard look at my hair. Being that I didn't have the luxury of getting my hair done anymore, I had to do my own. I was completely horrified at what I saw. My hair was dry, brittle and almost matted. My edges were on their way to being non existent. My ends were split and my scalp had small sores. The only bright side to all of this was I accidentally became a natural again. Years of not perming my hair and installing weaves had returned my hair back to its natural state.
My first instinct was to slap a perm in it and call it a day. But I decided against it mainly because of the fragile state my hair was already in. So for the first time in years I was forced to deal with my natural hair. I can honestly say I hated every waking moment of it. I cried, I felt ugly and grew increasingly insecure. I very seldom left the house in fear of being laughed at and mocked. Again I was made prisoner...again I was a slave to my hair....this time because I didn't have the weave to hide my true self.
I can't say what one moment turned it around for me. I just knew that I was tired of living in the shadow missing out on life because of my hair. So I began to educate my self on natural hair and finally began to embrace what I was born with in the first place. Under that matted mess I created grew some amazingly beautiful hair. I was finally free....more importantly, I began to see me for who I truly was. I finally broke the invisible chains of what I thought was beautiful and realized I am beautiful already. And that is my personal freedom.